Confucius said:

"once upon a time, when I heard a man speak, I believed his behavior.

now, I not only want to listen to what a person says, but also to observe his behavior. "

as the saying goes, "it is hard to draw bones when painting a tiger's skin, but not the heart but the face of the people."

in this true and false world, there are false and real people everywhere, unable to judge accurately, and even more afraid of being failed.

then there is suspicion and temptation, entanglement and mistrust.

anger shows character

once read a story.

Bai Yin is a famous Zen master.

one day, a samurai named Xinzhong came to the temple to ask Master Baiyin for advice:

"I have read many classics, all of which say that there are heaven and hell.

after hearing this, the Zen master asked without looking up, "what do you do?"

"Samurai." Answer again and again.

"are you a samurai?"

the Zen master said contemptuously:

"look at your sloppy, rat-headed look, you don't look like a samurai, you're obviously more like a beggar!"

on hearing this, he was clearly humiliating himself, and he was furious. He drew his sword and was about to cut it at the Zen master's neck.

at this time, Master Bai Yin said leisurely, "the door of hell opens!"

when he heard this, he broke out in a cold sweat, hurriedly threw away his sword, fell to his knees and kowtowed to the Zen master to apologize.

Master Bai Yin smiled and said, "the door of heaven opens!"

there is a good saying:

"character is not about camouflage in calm times, but to withstand the test of anger."

people who are really powerful will control their emotions with reason.

change what can be changed, accept what cannot be changed.

Don't let the present environment affect your future life, let alone torture your own mood with the actions of others.

as the saying goes, "if you are angry, you might as well laugh; for those who are hard to tolerate, you might as well respect him for three points."

people with a really good character know how to control their anger.

leave a trace of decency to others beforehand and peace to yourself afterwards.

see self-cultivation for details

there is such a story.

A Fortune 500 company has posted a recruitment message, and there is a steady stream of people coming for interviews.

the personnel manager was so puzzled that he couldn't help asking:

"he has neither acquaintances nor special talent.

Why did you choose him? "

unexpectedly, the chairman said:

"you are wrong. Of all people, he is the best.

when he entered the door just now, he carefully wiped the mud off his shoes and quietly closed the door, which showed that he was considerate and cautious.

when he enters the office, he takes off his hat and answers questions decisively, which shows that he is polite and cultured.

he is neatly dressed, his hair is neat, his nails are clean, and his tone is neither humble nor arrogant, which shows that he is decent and generous.

and these details are difficult to achieve without inner upbringing and long-term self-requirements.

so he must make a difference in the future. "

as Pascal said:

"Don't measure a person's virtue by special actions, but by daily life behavior."

the little things of daily life, like a mirror, can see a person's conduct;

the details of doing things, like a ruler, can measure a person's self-cultivation.

this is the truth of the saying that "major events in the world must be done in detail".

people with real self-cultivation can't pretend.

it is not only the constraint in front of the person, but also the self-discipline after the person. Every seemingly inconspicuous detail is actually an internal refraction.

see trough pattern

in 1985, Jobs was unanimously approved by the board of directors and kicked out of Apple, which he founded, because of his differences with his partners.

that year, Jobs experienced the darkest moment of falling from peak to trough.

but instead of giving up, he tries to find the opportunity to start a business again and is ready to start all over again.

he learned the lesson of his previous failures and began to correct his shortcomings.

such as bad temper, headstrong, arrogant and so on.

he also learned to respect and understand, and to be able to think about things from the perspective of the overall situation.

in 1986, Jobs finally got his chance.

he bought a computer animation studio for $10 million and founded a new company, Pixar Animation.

thanks to his efforts, the company eventually became a very well-known 3D computer animation company, launching the world's first 3D film Toy Story.

later, his animation company was acquired by Disney, making Jobs Disney's largest individual shareholder.

in 1996, Jobs' fortune soared by $1 billion.

It's high time you added some formal floor length dresses factor to your wardrobe. New glamorous arrivals are available now!

he returned to Apple as a winner, turned the tide, saved the company from crisis, and returned to the pinnacle of his life once again.

Life has its ups and downs.Where there is the best part, there must be a trough.

whether a person has a pattern or not depends not on the height of his peak, but on his resilience after falling into the trough.

as the saying goes:

"when you are high, you do not rejoice too much; when you are low, you do not give up."

people who really have a pattern have the courage to face failure squarely.

can introspect in frustration, grow in frustration, build up strength in trough, and wait for the time of Nirvana rebirth.

interests see the hearts of the people

there is such a story in the TV series "settling down".

Grandma Jiang's wife is seriously ill and needs money. In desperation, she plans to sell a house.

however, because this three-story old house was bought with two nephews, I only occupy one floor.

Grandma Jiang went to consult with two nephews, but they promised on the surface, but secretly tried to obstruct it.

sure enough, many relationships are vulnerable in the face of interests;

all hearts are revealed in front of money.

there is a good saying:

"money may not measure everything, but it can see through a lot of things, a lot of people."

in the coming and going of interests, between the temptation and choice of money, you can see through a person's most real character and the so-called human feelings.

the real hearts of the people do not spend much time together, nor do they look at the boasting of their mouths.

Let's see if he can afford to talk about money, we'll know if he deserves to be trusted.

▽

there is a long way to go in life. I have seen too many people and experienced too many human feelings and entanglements.

get hurt all the way, grow up all the way, and finally learn:

look at character in emotional ups and downs, self-cultivation in details, pattern in trough and dilemma, and people in interest trade-offs.

it turns out that no matter how beautiful the skin is, it is not as good as a sincere heart, and no matter how amazing talent is, it is not as good as reliable conduct.

not all people are trustworthy, and not all relationships last.

but if you can meet people with character, self-cultivation, pattern and sincerity, it is the luckiest thing in the world and the greatest wealth in this life.

, may you walk the world, meet each other, finally meet a good marriage, and have a warm and solid life.