Only when we are mature enough can we deal with intimate relationships and achieve true happiness.
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"Goodbye Love 2" has finally come to an end, which is quite satisfactory.
during the publicity, the official gave a notice of "all get off". In fact, "get out of the car" not everyone chose "marriage continues".
Elder Ai Wei and Chen Meiling, husband and wife redo;
Middle-aged Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng remarried;
Young Su Shiding and Lu GE parted ways.
Su Shiding, who got off early, didn't want to wait five minutes for the final decision, because she had already made a decision. Lu GE got out of the car to give her back the ring that his ex-wife left at home, not to save it.
the former lovers no longer have any nostalgia, and the 18-day journey only confirms a regrettable answer-no love.
Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng, the suffocating lovers, still have lingering fears in retrospect.
No matter how bad people scold Zhang Wanting, Song Ningfeng is always on her side.
he knows that Zhang Wanting was aggrieved when she got married by having a son, and that not proposing marriage properly was the knot of Zhang Wanting's life.
he also knows that behind Zhang Wanting's crazy aggressiveness is the trauma of lack of love and sense of security.
for the last time, Song Ningfeng prepared in advance, woven a ring out of a small flower, proposed to Zhang Wanting again, and took out the veil to put on Zhang Wanting.
"I want to propose to you again today because I love you, because if you leave me, I really have nothing."
this scene was also put on the hot search. Under the hot search of the official WeChat account congratulating Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng, the comment with the highest praise was the following:
"spare us ordinary people. Don't pass on the wrong abnormal marriage life to mislead young people. Make them think that love and marriage are like this. "
it can only be said that this kind of marriage is an isolated case. Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng are lucky and unhappy, and the parties should know best.
the really reconciled couple breathed a sigh of relief.
that's great. Ai Wei and Chen Meiling untied the knot and got out of the car to watch the sunset.
Ai Wei is no longer obsessed with Chen Meiling's problem of playing mahjong. he sees his own desire for control and respects the "patient" 's desire to live a normal life.
it's a pity to give up such a loving partner for such a trivial matter.
in fact, all our lives, what we most hope to meet is a marriage like Ai Wei and Chen Meiling.
these qualities in them can really be regarded as "examples of marriage".
Marriage needs loyalty
Ai Wei and Chen Meiling were once described by the Hong Kong media as an immortal couple in need.
Ai Wei is a golden supporting role in TVB, and Chen Meiling was a beauty pageant champion. The two men have been in love for 11 years, and on the special day of February 2, 2002, they took an oath to be partners for life.
after 20 years of marriage, the two men did not have children, but jointly raised a Bourne mountain dog, Sasimi, and supported nearly 30 children.
in the face of questions from the media, Aiwei would say every time: I don't want to have a baby. Thank her for doing what I want.
in 2014, the media photographed Chen Meiling's belly bulging and giving birth to Ai Wei Hexi one after another.
behind the wedding are tears. The fact is that Chen Meiling's uterine fibroids, which she has endured for eight years, have grown to 6 kilograms, accompanied by polycystic liver, liver and ascites.
at this time, there was also something wrong with Ai Wei's work. His Hong Kong TV station did not get a free television license, the company was in difficulty, and 320 people, including Ivy, were laid off.
even though he was in distress, he spent millions of his savings to treat his wife, went to see a doctor, and underwent five major surgeries.
"Don't worry, I'll give you a liver and reserve it for you."
he has to take care of the elderly and subsidize his children, and is almost ready to sell his family property. Some friends in the circle wanted to donate money to him, but he refused them all.
he thinks that "the horse falls to the ground" and goes out on horseback, and even when the horse is dead, he has to keep walking.
it is easier for children to solve the problem of 100 yuan than for children to solve the problem of 100 yuan by themselves. The problem will be solved one day.
but the two experienced a life-and-death crisis together, only to be defeated in the face of ordinary life.
after being discharged from the hospital, Ai Wei did not like Chen Meiling's living habits, let alone her staying up all night playing mahjong, harming his health.
for this reason, the two men quarreled and quarreled, and Ivy even said harshly: "if you play mahjong again, we will get a divorce!"
Chen Meiling did not take the threat to heart. Only after returning from a trip to play mahjong, I saw Ai Wei pack up his things and move out.
the two began to separate and did not go through the divorce formalities in order to do things for each other after death.
even if she appeared on the show this time, Ai Wei accused Chen Meiling of her crimes as a judge.
"I still have a little hate.
you are completely indifferent to my advice.
your stubbornness has ruined our whole marriage and life.
I am very scared, and then I will be held responsible for your mistakes.
I think you are doing me injustice. "
meaning is used beautifully. RighteousnessWhat is Qi? it is the bearing of being willing to take risks for others or make self-sacrifice for the sake of friendship.
Marriage inevitably requires shared risk and self-sacrifice.
to be a man, you should be loyal, and when you are husband and wife, you should also be loyal.
you pull me out of the quagmire, I protect you from the wind and rain; you help me heal the wounds of life, and I carry a heavy load for you.
Ai Wei has this kind of loyalty, meaning to his family, to his friends, and to poor children.
because he is always loyal, he can provide a predictable pattern of behavior.
when he encounters suffering in the future, there is a good chance that he will be as willing to sacrifice as he is now.
it will be very reassuring to form a life partner with such a person.
the premise is that meanings are mutual.
Ai Wei did his duty, but when he felt that Chen Meiling did not take good care of her body, he no longer forced himself to bear all the responsibilities, and he did not want to lose both people and money.
be grateful for getting along
program, in the face of Aiwei's accusations, Chen Meiling always hesitated and silently accepted all the accusations of Ai Wei, because this man was kind to him.
during the 18-day trip, no matter how aggressive Ai Wei was to her, when it came to writing a diary in the evening, Chen Meiling could not help saying thank you.
"Thank you for your tolerance and nagging, and your love for me."
"Thank you for the laughter and joy you brought me tonight."
"Thank you for your care."
"Thank you for experiencing new challenges together today."
"Thank you very much for saying'I'm sorry 'today."
Thank you for all the changes you have made for me and for loving me. "
Chen Meiling saw everything Ai Wei did, kept it in mind, and lived up to her painstaking efforts.
she thanked the man, respected her ideas, protected her from the outside world, gave all her help when she was in trouble, and cooked and cooked soup to take care of her when needed.
some studies have shown that even expressions of gratitude and praise with a smile can help improve relationship satisfaction.
when there is a lack of gratitude and appreciation in a relationship, there are often negative feelings that make one party feel exhausted, or feel used, unworthy, or hurt.
Fromm said that love is first of all given rather than received.
A person who only accepts each other's benefits, but is stingy and giving, is not worth our efforts.
our efforts should be given to a person who knows how to return, and a relationship that goes both ways can last longer.
Ai Wei is loyal to Chen Meiling. Chen Meiling is very grateful to Ai Wei. Why is there still a crisis of divorce between the two?
because of Chen Meiling's gratitude at that time, she fell into a strange circle.
because of thanks, I am obedient, because I am obedient, the other party is more and more controlling, and because I am more and more controlling, playing mahjong is not allowed.
Thanksgiving is not obedience, nor obedience, but your affirmation of coming and going.
this strange circle has been completely resolved in two things.
one is that Chen Mei-ling suffers from altitude sickness and has a cold and a high fever, and the situation is endangered. Ai Wei puts these right relationships behind and focuses only on saving her lover.
at the moment of life and death, he gave up asking for a return and renewed his promise: "No divorce, don't worry, Wei Wei knows you've done your best."
We are moved and distressed by such a heavy and deep friendship.
it seems that this relationship can only be the contribution of Ai Wei. Chen Meiling's gratitude and the unbalanced relationship put a lot of pressure on onlookers.
until Chen Meiling revealed the real reason why she had not had an operation for eight years.
at first, Chen Meiling was not serious when she was diagnosed with uterine fibroids. She had just signed a three-year contract with the company. If she had an operation, she might have to take two or three months off. In order to keep her job, she chose conservative treatment.
the end of the three-year contract is the best time for treatment. I happen to encounter that Ai Wei's work is not smooth, her income is unstable, and her state is at a low ebb. Chen Meiling is not willing to put more pressure on her husband, but tells Ai Wei:
"honey, I will always support you, you don't have to worry."
in order to support Ai Wei to do what she wants to do, Chen Meiling once again gave up the operation, continued to work, and shouldered the expenses of her family.
for so many years, I didn't tell the truth in order not to make Ivy feel guilty and save Ivy's face.
Ai Wei was stunned when he heard this. He completely forgot that his unemployment collided with Chen Meiling's operation time. He only remembered that Chen Meiling was afraid to go to the hospital and did not want to have an operation.
We are always easy to remember what is good to others, and it is easy to ignore the kindness of others to ourselves. We always care about other people's gratitude, but forget that the relationship is mutual.
when Ai Wei also looked back to see Chen Meiling's efforts and thanked her for her support in the past, the thorns of Aiwei's attack disappeared and became gentle and honest.
after reading Chen Meiling's thank you diary, Ai Wei pinched Chen Meiling's face, and there was no doubt that happy love was revealed.
Marriage is an adult's contract
Leo Tolstoy has a famous saying: "Happy families are all alike, and unhappy families are unhappy in their own way."
"Goodbye Love 2" came a pair of happily married flying guests Huang Jue and Maizi. In them, we can see the similar characteristics of a happy couple: mature personality, stable mood, gentle and kind.
Huang Jue and Song Ningfeng knew each other a long time ago, and the aggressive Zhang Wanting jokingly asked Song Ningfeng, "Brother Chueh was not surrounded by wheat at that time."
Song Ningfeng answered honestly: "No."
anyone will feel embarrassed to take office ahead of time in front of the incumbent, not to mention that Huang Jue's predecessor was the famous Xu Jinglei.
but Huang Jue and wheat are handled very well.
Huang Chueh-hsien replied, "she knows and knows my past."
Mai's answer is more mature: "Thank you for adding my moments, very classy."
although wheat is 14 years younger than Huang Jue, the maturity of wheat is not inferior to that of Huang Jue.
maturity does not increase with age, but is the result of one's talent and practice.
Mai demonstrated the ability to manage intimate relationships in his first love with Huang Jue.
Huang Jue remembers their only quarrel. They had a big quarrel at the door of the workers' sports, as if they were crazy.
when you are angry, you can vent your anger, control your emotions in time, and turn the quarrel into good memories. This way of quarrelling not only won't hurt the feelings, but also can show a person's charm. Let the feelings go up to another tall building.
in contrast, Lu GE and Su Shiding, who are not very mature in the program, chose to escape in the face of the chicken feathers of life.
long-term distance and lack of communication have made the misunderstanding between the two people deeper and deeper.
Lu GE would rather say that he is on the show for money than admit that he wants to save the marriage.
there are aggressive Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng, who are like rubber bands, holding each other's trust but hurting people at will.
these two young marriages have big problems, but they don't know how to deal with them.
even the most basic respect and communication have not been achieved.
Ai Wei and Chen Mei-ling, who are in their twenties, are enough to love, understand and tolerate. They are willing to express their love, pay for each other, and give back.
they have come to face a more serious crisis, and they have been defeated in the face of birth, old age, sickness and death.
when they reorganize themselves and unravel their misunderstandings, they can finally discuss the topic of life and death calmly.
Chen Meiling said that when she hoped that Ai Wei could die at the same time, she smiled and probably had a happy life and death with the one she loved.
but when we really talk about who goes first, it's a different picture.
Chen Meiling thought that Ai Wei would cry if she left first, so she wanted to go first.
Ivy said softly, "I'll take care of your death."
Chen Meiling also remembered that Ai Wei once said that he wanted to decorate the hall as a disco, and everyone who came in needed a drink. The two laughed with tears in the scene.
We always use the phrase in the Book of songs to bless the newlyweds to "hold hands and grow old together".
in fact, there is another sentence in front of him: "A broad agreement between death and life, say with your son."
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means that we will be together regardless of life and death. This is the agreement we agreed on at the beginning.
in the Art of Love, Fromm emphasizes:
"except for actively developing all your personality to form a creative personality tendency, all attempts to love are bound to fail; without the ability to love your neighbors, without sincere humility, courage, loyalty, and self-control, it is impossible to get satisfactory personal love."
only when we are mature enough can we deal with intimate relationships and achieve true happiness.
it is better to be happy than to complain about misfortune. Instead of becoming a victim of marriage, it is better to face yourself bravely and have a heroic journey of growth.
Badio said that "love is the smallest unit". The object of love is his own heart and life.
, may we all be happy.
author
:
Yin Ake
, a speech
. The original title: "they are not divorced, a sigh of relief."