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I don't know since when, many people have become anxious.

complain about too much homework when reading, tired at work, and busy with housework at home.

it is clear that life is getting better and better, but we have less and less happiness.

Balzac said:

"

in the storm of life, we should be like the captain and throw away the heavy cargo in the storm so as to lighten the weight of the ship.

"

the pressure of life is everywhere, if you want too much, do not know how to give up and let go, it will only make the wind and waves more unscrupulous.

No matter how difficult the present is, don't struggle with the past, don't embarrass yourself.

can't let go of the hurt, forget it

writer Oscar Wilde said:

"I have to forgive something for myself. For one cannot get up every night and plant thorns in the garden of the soul. "

the injuries that can not be let go are the thorns that grow in our hearts.

only by learning to unplug them can you live in peace and contentment.

when Mo Yan was young, because his family was poor, he often followed his mother to the fields to pick up ears of wheat.

once, the caretaker of the wheat field came, and the others fled, leaving only the mother caught.

as a result, my mother was slapped and bleeding from the corners of her mouth.

this scene is deeply engraved in Mo Yan's memory and makes him often wake up in the middle of the night.

many years passed, Mo Yan and his mother met the field keeper at the bazaar. He had gray hair.

Mo Yan rushed up to get even with him, but he was grabbed by his mother.

the mother shook her head and said softly, "son, the man who hit me is not alone with this old man."

my mother's words immediately dissipated the nightmare that had tortured Mo Yan for many years.

most of the time, we live too hard, not that the situation is too bad, but that we repeatedly open the scab scars.

Mr. Ji Xianlin said in "Life at ease":

"

if you can't forget, then the pain will be fresh and vivid all the time, and you will be tortured violently and cruelly all the time, so you might as well put it down and be indifferent, indifferent and indifferent.

"

relax your heart and forgive the hurt before you can free up your hand to embrace a happy future.

the obsession of mind, take a light view

there is a question on Zhihu: "what kind of experience is obsession too deep?"

A high praise replied, "it's like there's a fire in my heart, burning myself day and night."

I am not Pan Jinlian, a novel written by Liu Zhenyun.

in the novel, Li Xuelian and her husband fake divorce and want to share an extra flat.

who knew her husband had a change of heart, so he turned around and married someone else with the house.

in anger, in order to get justice and an explanation, she filed a complaint against her ex-husband in court.

the lawsuit starts from a small county town to a big city.

Li Xuelian, who was originally young and beautiful, wasted 20 years before and after, but in the end, she ended up with a broken family and an old age.

writer Zhou Guoping once said:

"an important aspect of life wisdom is to distinguish between what you can control and what you can't control."

after all, life is not satisfactory, nine times out of ten.

for things that are beyond your control, you can only let nature take its course.

if you are always obsessed with the unwillingness in your heart, how can you see the scenery elsewhere?

it would be better to look aside and be light, smile and move on.

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the long road of life, a thought to put down, all at ease.

A turn that is difficult to cross

have you ever had such an experience in your life:

if you fail in an exam, you will never recover and lose hope for the future.

work is a little unsatisfactory, so you can't let it go, and you don't have the courage to regroup.

when feelings suffer setbacks, they will only drink to drown their sorrows and lose the direction of life.

on the way of life, it is normal that things go against one's wishes, and some things are not satisfactory.

sometimes, the hurdles you encounter are actually reminding you that you are going the wrong way and should know how to turn.

during the Northern Song Dynasty, there was a young man from a family who regarded the imperial examination as his lifelong ideal at a young age.

at the age of 26, he took part in the imperial examination for the first time and failed.

when he was 35, he failed again.

A few years later, when he dropped out of the list again, he suddenly figured it out.

sometimes you have to have it in your life, but don't force it all the time. Since you can't pass the Jinshi examination, you might as well accept this fate and become a chic literati.

in the face of the impassable official career, he turned away without looking back and went to the public to fill in words.

from a scholar without merit and fame, he became a master of ci in the Northern Song Dynasty.

this teenager is an euphemism.Liu Yong, the master of pie.

watching the imperial examination lose hope, he did not fight hard, but reached the peak of his life on another road.

there is a saying in the Book of changes: "qu into all things without leaving behind."

nothing in the world is not made by twists and turns.

Water can run to the sea, not because it can rush forward bravely, but because it knows how to avoid obstacles and turn.

Light shines on the earth, not only because it can penetrate the clouds, but also because it can scatter in twists and turns.

the road of life is always rough and difficult, and there are always obstacles that cannot be crossed.

when you learn to turn a corner, you may be full of surprises around the corner.

to save face, let go

writer Liu Tong once said: "when you are young, you have to pay a price for your efforts to save face."

if you can't get rid of the shackles of face, you will fall into the quagmire of life, and the more you struggle, the more painful you will be.

Zhihu blogger

@ Xiaoxiao

once talked about the experience of a good friend.

A good friend and couple used to open a restaurant in the provincial capital, but although the business was good, they did not save much money.

the reason is simple: a good friend's husband is too face-saving.

outside, everyone says that he is generous. In fact, he never cares whether his family is well-off or not.

recently, the general environment is not good and business is poor.

the family's clothing, food, housing, transportation, housing, car loans, and children's interest classes need money for everything, and they have long been unable to make ends meet.

his good friend advised him to save money and not to pretend to be generous.

he said directly: "other people think highly of me so that they associate with me. If I am stingy and search, I will lose face."

Last Chinese New year, as soon as he returned to his hometown, he either invited this to dinner or gave that red packet.

I didn't know that he had borrowed a lot of money until someone called his friend.

finally, my good friend got angry and divorced her husband.

there are many people in life who take face too seriously and feel that if they lose face, they lose their dignity.

so in order to maintain the so-called self-esteem, I am embarrassed to refuse others, and in order to give myself a long face, I do something beyond my ability.

in the end, he just picked up the stone and hurt his foot.

the writer Yishu said:

"

face is the hardest thing for a person to put down, and it is the most useless thing. The more you care about it, the heavier it will be and the more difficult it will be for you to move.

"

Life is for yourself, not for others.

only by letting go of face can one win back the inner part of life, and only when one's heart becomes stronger can one really live a good life.

imperfect self, accept

once heard a saying:

"everything has cracks, and that's where the light comes in, so imperfection is the real life."

if you are too harsh in the face of your own flaws and defects, you will limit yourself.

when entrepreneur Kazuo Inamori first went to Kyoto to work, he always spoke with a strong accent.

for fear of being laughed at, he always hesitates when talking to clients and dares not open his mouth.

as a result, his work was not smooth, and his performance was mediocre for a period of time.

later, he slowly realized: "I'm from the country, so it's normal to have an accent."

as a result, instead of deliberately hiding his accent, he slowly became confident in communicating with others.

after this adjustment, he has become more and more natural and harmonious in dealing with people, and his work has become smoother.

Takashi Nakajima once wrote in the Book of Mountain Moon:

"

I am afraid that I am not a beautiful jade, so I dare not think about it hard, but I half believe that I am a beautiful jade, so I refuse to do nothing and keep company with the rubble.

so I gradually alienated from the world, alienated the world, the result is a term of resentment and resentment increasingly fuelled the inner cowardly self-esteem.

"

in life, many people like to compete with themselves and can't stand their own defects.

if you want to make up for it, but there is nothing you can do about it, in the end, you will only make life worse and worse in the midst of internal friction and anxiety.

allow yourself to be less perfect and decompress yourself so that you can become more comfortable in the complicated life.

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writer Matsuura Mitaro said:

"

the so-called predicament of life is nothing but the shackles of your wishful thinking and self-setting.

"

most of the time, it is not worry that chooses you, but you choose worry on your own initiative.

people in this life, happy is over, sad is also over; tired is over, relaxed is also over.

instead of frowning, it is better to smile.

look down on everything, do not persevere, do not struggle, do not embarrass yourself, life will become more and more relaxed and simple.