duhaoshu

saw a paragraph the other day and felt deeply:

"Marriage is a matter between two families. If your parents don't agree with you together, don't think your parents don't understand you."

there are very few parents in the world who lie to their children, but there are many lies in love. "

as a matter of fact, the hearts of parents are all the same. They are afraid that it is not good to have a daughter and a son.

far-sighted parents never marry with four families. The reason is very realistic.

this not only hides the detours they have taken and the south wall they have hit, but also their thoughts and worries about their children.

A family with strong parents

received a private message from a reader before.

usually, my mother-in-law has to ask for everything from daily expenses to wages and bonuses.

they even privately asked their husbands to hand in their payroll cards on the grounds that they could not manage money and spend money indiscriminately.

for example, when decorating the house, she wanted Jane European style, and her mother-in-law insisted on retro style, not to decorate according to her, regardless of the fact that this was their own small home.

she feels aggrieved, but every time she discusses with her husband, her husband is either calm and obedient, or he talks about her with her mother-in-law.

"before I got married, I also wanted to get along with my mother-in-law, but now I understand that many people, not how good you treat them, they will do to me."

generally speaking, the dominant power in the family determines the direction of the marriage.

but when the dominant power is the other party's parents, it is clear that the relationship has been misplaced.

as the saying goes, if one of the parents in the other's family is very strong, it also reflects the cowardice of the husband.

this also means that the husband cannot assume the responsibility of balancing the relationship between his wife and his parents as a mature man.

as parents, they certainly do not want their daughter to marry into such a family and suffer such grievances.

families with discordant children

there is an old Chinese saying that every family has its own difficulties.

Marriage is a daily life. In the face of daily life, differences are common, and quarrels occur from time to time.

but what I fear most is that some families are not United and their brothers and sisters are separated, which is tantamount to adding new contradictions to their married life.

read a post.

A girl married the younger brother of the two brothers.

before marriage, the girl had a good state of mind and knew that the two brothers were at odds with each other, but the girl didn't care. She felt that as long as she did her job.

but then she found out that most of the time, you don't just have to do it yourself.

for example, my father-in-law was ill in hospital for a week, so the two families should take turns to take care of him, but the eldest brother showed up several times a week. The reason is that my father-in-law sent his younger brother to college, but now he should do more.

for example, she and her sister-in-law have children at the same time, but her mother-in-law chooses to take care of her sister-in-law for no other reason. Her mother-in-law is more rich and powerful.

there is also the allocation of houses, giving gifts and buying vegetables during the holidays, and so on. The original discord between the brothers eventually turned into a contradiction between the three families.

at the end of the post, the girl said:

"if I had to choose again, I would not marry a family that is at odds with brothers and sisters.

unless your husband is better than his brother, or your own ability is better than you, or your mother's family has the strength, otherwise you will be very aggrieved. "

as a parent, who doesn't want their children to have a good life?

especially if the family has a daughter, the daughter marries not only to a man, but also to a family.

but if in the original family, brothers and sisters deal with each other like fire and water, and there are many contradictions, even if they have a lot of money, they will get chicken feathers in the end.

you can imagine the consequences of marrying into such a family.

A untidy family

it is said that a room is an energy field.

imagine that if the kitchen of a home always accumulates all kinds of plastic bags, the balcony is filled with bottles and cans filled with ash, and the furniture in the room is covered with a layer of dust.

would you be willing to let your children marry /marry into such a family?

must be unwilling.

everyone wants their children to live better and better, rather than spend the rest of their lives in a sloppy atmosphere.

is not to look down on or criticize other people's way of life, but the cleanliness of a family represents the happiness of a family to a large extent.

maybe at the moment, many couples who are passionately in love feel that they are making a mountain out of a molehill, that the days are for two people after all, and that they will move out on their own.

people who have lived in a sloppy environment since childhood are most likely to be shopkeepers who have no work in their eyes and are unwilling to work.

in the end, only one person can do most of the housework.

it may start with a few dirty bowls, rolls of paper towels and plastic bags, but it is more patient, torturing countless nameless invisible chores that go unnoticed.

when you are consumed by these tedious pieces of physical strength every day, how can you not feel aggrieved and resentful?

No matter how much affection and sweetness, it will turn into mutual dislike.

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A calculating family

thrift is a virtue.

but I have seen many elders who have been used to frugality all their lives and are still careful in matters related to marriage, weighing each other's gains and losses.

some male parents make a down payment, asking the woman to use the bride price to decorate and marry another car, so that they can save face in the eyes of their relatives and friends.

some young couples have always had a good relationship, and when they were about to get married, the woman's parents insisted on 200000 bride price and 50, 000 gold wares, refusing to give half a profit.

there are house names, property notarization, and so on, layers of games, for fear that their children will suffer losses.

but as a result, the last two families turned out to be at odds with each other, or the young couple had been arguing about it all the time after marriage, leaving a thorn in each other's hearts.

in fact, there is nothing wrong with careful calculation in life, but if you even have to consider your own interests in marriage, what is the point of such a marriage?

far-sighted parents will not marry an in-laws who are always defensive and care about everything.

whose children are not spoiled, grow up carefree and have such a clear plan before they get married, how can they rest assured that they can get along with each other day and night after that?

especially agree with one sentence:

"the essence of marriage is a balanced exchange of values."

two people in the same dimension, work together, instead of loving you all over the mouth, they are full of calculation.

Marriage has just begun and there is still a long way to go for the rest of your life, but how can you believe that a calculating person can spend the rest of your life with you?

Marriage is never a matter of two people, but a union of two families.

but I have seen many young people, and the more their parents object, the more firmly they recognize that person, thinking that they are defending the right to choose in life.

it was not until I got married that I encountered all kinds of unhappiness, and only then did I regret not listening to my parents.

the beloved son of parents is far-reaching.

even if they are getting old and unable to keep up with the development of the times, they are too different from our horizons and ideas.

but don't forget that they will always be the ones who know and love us the most.

, share with you.