someone on the Internet asked: "what is the source of one's pain?"

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there is a highly praised answer that goes like this: "the expectation of the world is far greater than the understanding of the world."

most of the time, we fall into an emotional abyss because we have unrealistic expectations of people and things.

the higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

the best way to maintain a good mood is to take the initiative to lower expectations.

prepare for the worst, prepare for the best.

in this way, you can take the initiative in life and live happily and freely.

have you ever had high expectations of others?

expect to receive a lot of birthday wishes, but only blow out the candle;

expect roses and gifts for Valentine's Day, only to say "Happy Holiday";

expect your friends to support you unconditionally, but there is only a cold "right"?

and then lonely and sad with nowhere to say.

netizens

@ Ni Lan

has had such an experience.

A while ago, she wanted to buy a house, but she was still tens of thousands of yuan short of the down payment, so she wanted to find a friend to put it together.

so she dialed a college roommate's number.

she thought that when they were in college, they were in and out together, and they had a good relationship.

when the other party bought a house two years ago, he borrowed money from him. Although he did not have much savings at that time, he happily gave him 50,000 yuan.

and this guy, who has been going well recently, should have some savings on hand.

when Ni Lan dialed the other party's phone, the other party was still enthusiastic and asked questions.

it's just that when Ni Lan made a request, his roommate stumbled and couldn't say it for a long time, but finally said, "I also want to change to a big house. I really can't move any extra money."

hearing this, Ni Lan's heart suddenly cooled.

but she also understands that she should not blame each other. After all, borrowing money is a favor, not a duty.

maybe you and I used to be Ni Lan and had high expectations of others.

always feel that a friend is to give himself a hand at a critical moment, and a relative is to mention himself at a low ebb.

however, the most overrated thing in the world is the relationship, and the most impossible to test is the human heart.

sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't want to meet your expectations, but:

when you are going through a difficult time, the other person may also be at a low ebb; when you are at the most critical moment, the other person may also be at the inflection point.

No one should live to meet your expectations.

High expectations not only make you unhappy, but may also break up a relationship.

maybe the secret to staying happy is never to expect too much of anyone.

whether the other person is a parent, lover, or friend.

the higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment

the writer Ma de once said this:

I gradually understand why I am not happy, because I always expect a result.

read a book, expect it to make me deep; run for a while, expect it to make me thin; be kind to others, look forward to being treated back …...

if these preset expectations are realized, I will breathe a sigh of relief, and if not, I will feel sorry for myself.

this may be the case in the world. The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

in the hit TV series go to the Windy place, this is the case with online novelist Barley.

she once expected that every story she wrote would be popular; she had hoped that every chapter she wrote would be well received.

but it also became a yoke that trapped her.

she will reflect too much because of readers' comments, and she will be tied up because of her low subscriptions.

under the guidance of her friends Nana and Hongdou, she gradually found her original heart.

No longer expect only good reviews, no longer expect high subscriptions, no longer expect to just walk the path.

and start to focus on the present, typing every character carefully.

this not only relieves her a lot, but also helps her open her mind.

We always expect a lot of things, and we always expect good things.

but excessive expectations are actually a heavy yoke.

because human nature is always greedy. When you get thousands of money, you want to make ten thousand dollars. When you become an emperor, you want to become an immortal.

as long as you don't meet your wishes at all, you feel that life is not worth it.

but this not only blocks his own pace, but also locks his mind.

there is an expectation theory in psychology, "Happiness = utility /expectation", which illustrates a truth: the higher a person's expectations, the less likely he is to be satisfied and the more likely he is to be disappointed.

on the contrary, only by letting go of expectations can you be happy; if you lower your requirements, you can be satisfied.

as said in "disqualification in the world":

"if there is no excessive joy, there will be no extreme sadness."

all one's life, one must learn, but do good deeds and never ask about the future.

keep a good mood and start by lowering expectations

have you found that people who are really happy are always peaceful?

they don't get angry because of a comment from others.They will not be disappointed because of an obstacle on the way.

they seem to have a scale in their hearts, holding their most basic judgment of the world.

do not overestimate the relationship, do not underestimate the effort.

therefore, you can always keep your mood stable and positive.

Zhang Songwen's journey has not been easy.

although his major is very good, he is always turned away by all kinds of drama groups because of his image.

in the first year of graduation, he auditioned for 360 theatrical groups, all of which were rejected.

the following year, he went to 280 troupes, but was still rejected.

but slowly, he learned to lower his expectations, no longer expect to be popular, no longer expect to make more money, or even look forward to a successful interview.

and at this time, he finally met his own Bole-Lou Ye.

but he doesn't dare to expect Lou Ye to give him multiple roles. I just wish he could have such a small part.

knowing that he has no traffic and no market, as long as there is a play, he will enjoy it.

it is because of this state of mind that he can take every character seriously.

in the "hidden corner" ushered in a small explosion, in the "hurricane" ushered in another big explosion.

all this is both unexpected and reasonable.

Liao Yimei once said: "the less people need others, the more comfortable and peaceful they will live."

indeed, life is full of ups and downs when your expectations are high; when you lower your expectations, life is full of surprises.

to maintain a good mood, you should start by lowering expectations.

then do what you do, love what you love, do your best, and listen to your destiny.

after all, what should come will always come.

Gibran once said:

if one day, you stop looking for love, just love;

you no longer want to succeed, just do it;

you no longer pursue vague growth, but just begin to cultivate your temperament;

your life really begins.

indeed, if life is always obsessed with one result, the whole process will become utilitarian.

you can't relax or let it go.

and when you are no longer stuck in the relationship between people, you no longer expect a result.

but put the best efforts in the here and now, put the greatest hope on yourself.

Flowers will bloom one day.

, may you lower your expectations, have love in your heart, and ask nothing.

author

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