when people reach middle age, more than half of the flowers bloom.

some people say that time is a woman's greatest enemy, because wrinkles will quietly climb up a woman's face.

but some people say that time is a woman's best friend, because the accumulation of time will make a woman more attractive from the inside out.

with the change of years, they are both women, and the reason why they are in different states and elegant demeanor lies in the stability of the "core".

Women with unstable kernels tend to drift with the current, easily disturbed by chores and hurt by rumors;

but a woman with a stable core can be humiliated, relaxed, and insist on going her own way.

here are 8 tips to help you grow into a stable woman and help you have a more and more smooth life.

01

have the courage to be hated

"We please others because we are too afraid of being hated."

when women live in the world, they always try their best to give: filial piety to their parents-in-law, consideration for their husbands, care for their children, and concern for others.

but no matter how hard it is to please, there are always people who are dissatisfied, dictate and criticize everywhere.

if we blindly care about the eyes of others and always suppress our true self, it will be very difficult for us to get real freedom and happiness.

Life is too short. Don't waste your precious life catering to others carefully.

instead of wronging himself to strive for everyone's recognition and satisfaction, it is better to be yourself and have the courage to be hated.

if you can't get close to your hand, withdraw it decisively; don't force it to cover your lukewarm heart.

the journey of life is long, others are passers-by, we are the protagonists.

be true to your heart and let nature take its course, and there will be people who appreciate you who will resonate with you and sympathize with you.

02

accept the existence of "three values disagreement"

there are thousands of people in the world.

there are no two identical leaves in the world, and there are no identical people.

different growth environments, educational backgrounds and life experiences make everyone have different resumes and create different values.

in a group, if you blindly pursue the same values and look for a perfect soul, it may be like looking for a needle in a haystack, which is easy to return without success.

if you want to make the stage of life more open, you must be open-minded and learn to accept the existence of disagreements among the three values.

in psychology, there is a concept called "non-integration ability", which refers to the ability to withstand cognitive and emotional complexity.

Women with non-integration abilities do not blindly try to control and change others.

seek common ground while reserving differences, and be harmonious but different.

allow inconsistencies to exist and know how to respect each other's differences in order to seek the "maximum common divisor" and have a broader sky.

03

self-care, not self-criticism

when we encounter unpleasant things, we tend to blame ourselves:

"Why am I different from others?"

"Why can't I do it when everyone else can?"

"Why do I always make mistakes?"

American psychologist Robert Fairstone found that

if a person is always critical of himself, he is apt to hate himself and fall into the anxiety of being abandoned by the group.

in fact, what women fear most is not not being good enough, but self-negation and self-criticism, thus falling into a quagmire and physical and mental exhaustion.

everyone has their own skill hammer, and everyone has a bright spot.

instead of being too hard on yourself, learn to care for yourself and treat yourself with a more relaxed and tolerant attitude.

when you encounter setbacks, you might as well rest your feet and have a rest; when you achieve your goals, applaud yourself and reward yourself.

know how to let go, learn to let go, and love ourselves a little more every day than yesterday, so that we can heal in time and move towards a new life.

04

have emotions, but can also control emotions

firewood, rice, oil and salt, food, clothing, housing and transportation.

in the face of life, women always have endless worries and endless work, which inevitably breeds negative emotions.

there is a saying on the Internet:

"emotional illness is more terrible than physical illness."

emotion is like a sharp blade, properly venting can help us relax and prevent depression.

but if you overreact and make a scene, it will be like a tiger fighting, hurting others and yourself.

in fact, emotions are inevitable, and the difficulty is how to control them.

instead of falling into negative emotions and letting life be shrouded in haze, it is better to know how to control emotions and learn to be calm.

it is appropriate to take a light view of trivial matters; if it doesn't matter, you might as well be confused.

the next time you want to get angry, calm down and take a deep breath for 30 seconds, do something you are interested in, and divert your attention in time.

if you are not impatient when things happen, learn to adjust and become the master of emotions, so that you can be physically and mentally comfortable, safe and happy.

05

just solve the problem, not make useless assumptions

on the way forward, it is inevitable that there will be many thorns and ditches.

in the face of the problems that may arise all the time, different ways of dealing with them reveal the different spiritual core of women.

people with unstable kernels will be perfunctory and feel sorry for themselves whenever they encounter problems;

even pinned his hopes on useless assumptions without trying to solve the problem at all.

as many people do not know, it is useless to complain and regret.

blindly fantasizing and evading will only put the problem behind, or even make it snowball, getting bigger and bigger.

writer Mo Yan warned us long ago:

"try not to regret what has happened, always look up and look forward."

now that you have missed the sun, don't miss the stars again.

try to find out the crux of the problem and try your best to come up with several different solutions.

only by living in the present and prescribing the right medicine to the case can we solve the problem and turn the crisis into safety.

06

know how to refuse to consume your own people, things, things

Franklin said:

"one rotten apple is enough to break a basket of apples."

in life, we will inevitably encounter some "rotten apples":

when you encounter something, you are full of negative energy, and you are always regarded as a "trash can";

when you see the goodness of others, you get jealous and gossip behind your back.

be kind enough to help others, but you don't know how to be grateful, and you even have to take an inch.

in the face of these people, things, and things that consume us, do not plant mines for your original quiet life because you are embarrassed to refuse.

it is important to know that no matter how good the relationship is, you should pay attention to the boundary.

if you do not know how to measure and run everywhere, it will only cause trouble and internal friction.

Life is short, acquaintances are scattered, and really smart women don't invite everyone into life.

refuse decisively when it is time to refuse, and give up when it is time to give up.

Our bohemian wedding dresses online are designed to wow even the random onlooker. Look at the catalogue to get the best fitting cloth.

learn to say no and stop the loss in time to make life more and more comfortable.

07

the ability to keep making money at all times

there is a line in the movie Sewing Machine Band:

"money can save lives, but ideals can't."

when we are young and ignorant, we often think highly of ourselves and treat money like dirt.

even mercilessly mocked my parents who were careful for a few taels of silver every day, imagining that "the talents made by heaven and earth must have its use, even if they run out of money, they will start all over again."

until I was in the middle of my life, hit a wall everywhere, and found that I lived like a heavy old horse, bent down by life, I suddenly realized:

"money is not everything, but you can't do without it."

for women, who doesn't yearn for a rich life, who doesn't look forward to poetry and distance?

but in the face of white-haired parents and crying children, after all, the ideal is very plump, and the reality is very bony.

there has never been an easy word in the adult world.

if you want to withstand the storms of life and have the guarantee to deal with the crisis, you must always maintain the ability to make money.

only by working hard can you make money to support your family, and only by managing money carefully can you increase revenue and reduce expenditure.

only a woman who can make money can live with confidence and elegant demeanor.

08

have clear goals and continuous action

"Locke's Law" points out:

goals are most effective when they are both future-oriented and challenging.

A man without an aim is like a boat on the boundless sea, not knowing where to go.

on the other hand, a person with a clear goal, like a beacon, can move in a given direction.

it is often not intelligence, education and ability that open the gap between people.

has a clear goal and continuous action is the key to a woman's success.

No matter how hard the iron is, as long as it is willing to pay, it will eventually grind the iron pestle into a needle.

the first class, the second class and the second class.

as the saying goes:

"most of the legends in this world are just ordinary people who turn their hearts into actions."

Don't be a giant in words and a dwarf in actions.

anchor the goal, do it now, and we will eventually reach the other shore and reap the fruits.

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Sophie Marceau said:

"the saddest thing about a woman is not her old age, but her self-loss in marriage and ordinary life."

No matter how delicate and beautiful flowers are, they have experienced wind and rain; no matter how attractive a woman is, she has been honed over the years.

only a woman with a stable core and "growth thinking" can be afraid of time and amaze you and me.

sit back and talk, you might as well get up and do it.

for the rest of my life, may you and I not be arrogant and impatient, strive for excellence, become a stable woman in the core, live arbitrarily, and live a happy life.

there is a book Yimo

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