duhaoshu

writer Hesse once wrote:

"some people think that persistence makes us stronger, but sometimes it is to let go."

it's hard to stick to it, even harder to give up.

if you know that you are on the wrong path, stopping and turning back is another way to move forward.

giving up does not mean failure. In many cases, it takes courage to stop losses and start all over again.

entangled in the loss for too long

will only lose more

some time ago, chatting with her friend Xiao Ni, she frowned and said, "Hey, I knew I had stopped studying for a PhD."

her undergraduate course was transferred to a biology major that she was not interested in, but because she didn't want to give up the opportunity to protect her research, she made the wrong choice.

when I was looking for a job, I suddenly found that I was not interested in doing experiments and writing reports. I was just forced to move forward by my mentor these years.

she was also reluctant to give up her 10-year major, so she joined a biological company to do research and development, testing all kinds of data in a small office every day, and comforting herself that she might get better by doing it.

but the result will not deceive people. After several years in this company, she has little improvement in skills and negligible increase in income. She can only complain about less money and live more, while not daring to change jobs, killing time day after day.

she looked at the successful careers of her classmates, who seemed to be the only one who was still spinning around, constantly taking detours and messing around.

the loss of the past is like the sand in our shoes. If you compete with it blindly, you will not only solve the problem, but also add to your troubles.

it is the wisest decision not to worry too much and not to be muddy. It is the wisest decision to pour out the sand and get back on the road.

in fact, all experiences in life are essentially the result of choice.

indulge in the past and dwell on losses for too long, you will only lose more. Only by focusing on the future and identifying your strengths and weaknesses can you turn against the wind.

born as human beings, we always have the freedom to choose.

as written in the book living the Life you want:

"when we don't realize that we have a choice all the time, we give up control that can improve our lives."

Don't spend your life in regret because you don't know how to stop.

Don't be trapped by the past

to start the journey better

self-media blogger Yang Xiaomi has shared his love story.

she once had a boyfriend, graduated from a famous school, very handsome, strong ability, full of halo.

but when they are together, they often quarrel in the dark.

her boyfriend does not like to socialize, nor does he like her to be like a fish in water in interpersonal relationships. He often says to her, "what ability do you have, but you are just good at interpersonal relationships."

in the long run, Yang Xiaomi fell into self-doubt and was so angry that she dropped her phone.

but because I have paid a lot in the relationship, I am reluctant to break up.

she didn't plan to end the relationship until she found out about her boyfriend's affair with other girls.

from the decision to separate to the formal separation, as long as she closes her eyes, she will feel like the sky is falling apart.

her boyfriend also came to her and even offered to work in her city, but she refused.

as the old saying goes, "if you keep breaking, you will be disturbed by it."

spend time on the wrong person or thing, cut constantly, manage in a mess, and you can only get hurt in the end.

in investment science, there is a word called "crocodile rule". If a crocodile bites your foot, when you pull your foot with your hand, the crocodile will bite your hand and foot at the same time. The more you struggle, the more places you get bitten.

at this time, you have to sacrifice one foot to get a chance of survival.

this is true both in relationship and at work.

if previous mistakes have led to losses, it is much more important to know how to stop losses in time than to stick to them blindly.

how to stop the loss in time?

the importance of timely stop loss is self-evident, but it is easier to know than to do, how can we really do it? These three methods may help you.

ask yourself questions with zeroing thinking

self-questioning is the easiest way to stop losses. You can pretend to have amnesia, make decisions from scratch, and you won't be trapped by sunk costs.

for example, you can ask yourself: if I am new to this job, should I continue or give up? If I had just met this person, would I have dated ta? If I were new to this project, would I invest in it?

this kind of zeroing thinking seems simple, but it allows us to jump out of our self-identity and look at our situation from a different perspective, which is often more objective and rational.

eliminate worries with probabilistic thinking

sometimes we are afraid of stops because our minds are fixed and we are afraid of the unknown.

therefore, even if I don't like my present life, I don't want to take the initiative to change because I'm used to it.

but in fact, weThere is a good chance that the things you worry about will not happen.

as Mu Xin said, "Don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow has its own worries. One day's difficulties are enough."

when you are in a dilemma, try to write down everything that may happen and use objective probabilities to rule out subjective concerns.

to get out of trouble at the end

some studies have shown that people feel four times better about loss than they get. For example, if a friend borrows 100 yuan from you and pays you back 98 yuan, it must be stronger than the happiness brought by paying you back 102 yuan.

because people hate loss, it's easy to gamble like a gambler to get it back, and end up getting deeper and deeper.

in fact, rather than worrying about the past, we should pay more attention to the future, start with the end, and think more about what we want than what we don't want.

only by looking forward positively can there be more hope in life.

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Adult life is full of difficulties.

We are always greedy. We want this and that, which makes us tired.

stop loss in time is the highest configuration for adults.

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this process may be reluctant or unbearable, but only when the cover is removed can life be light.

for the rest of your life, you might as well stay away from those inappropriate people and uncomfortable things in time to make your life more comfortable and comfortable.

Lin Xiyan, come