Children's lies are a "demon mirror" in parents' education.
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makes people wonder what big mistake this child has made?
mother tells the story.
I am a stay-at-home mother. My child is in the sixth grade this year and revolves around her every day. Tens of thousands of tutoring fees a year send her child to cram school. The child's grades are not bad, but there is only one serious problem.
don't do your homework and love to lie!
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for six years, she fought wits with her children, but was always fooled around.
Mom said angrily, "she can lie at any time!"
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after reading, all netizens left messages:
"my son has the same problem, who can educate?"
xa0.
in other words, parents throw the pot of" lying "at their children.
Education expert Yin Jianli says in "A good mother is better than a good teacher":
"if a certain personA child has a bad habit of lying, which must be something wrong with his growing up environment. "
children's lies are a demon mirror in parental education.
instead of blaming children, look back to see if there is something wrong with your parenting style.
I have seen such a conversation in the group of mothers:
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parents confess that the most troublesome and disgusted thing in daily life is the child who comes with a lie.
"I have a bad headache. Can I not go to school today?"
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"the exercise book fell into the school and can't be written tonight. "
often make parents furious, pick up their children and scold them either.
the reasons given by the parents also seem reasonable:
" how can you lie if you are lazy and have poor grades? It's a matter of moral character, and it's a mistake that adds to it! "
when the child comes back from school, the parents ask harshly, "how much did you get in math?" Let me have a look at the test paper "
looking at the parents' aggressive look, the child shrank his head and casually said, "the teacher didn't send it."
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but the test paper is in the schoolbag.
it turns out that the math teacher has called and said that the child failed the exam.
parents are just asking questions, unexpectedly, their son will not only get poor grades but also lie.
an anger is ignited thoroughly.
Dad yelled and forced the child to take out the test paper: "Why, now you learn to lie?"
in other words, parents throw the pot of" lying "at their children.
Education expert Yin Jianli says in "A good mother is better than a good teacher":
"if a certain personA child has a bad habit of lying, which must be something wrong with his growing up environment. "
"if a certain personA child has a bad habit of lying, which must be something wrong with his growing up environment. "
children's lies are a demon mirror in parental education.
instead of blaming children, look back to see if there is something wrong with your parenting style.
I have seen such a conversation in the group of mothers:
mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/meksZZXgV0RXPWy1oagJlTC0uibdGPXSCUMicZvKB9ia788V55uAebWobWB0glVQQz3F1xbrHXB7W3sRxdp7e2ibQA/640?wx_fmt=png\" data-type=\ "png\" data-w=\ "315\" style=\ "width: 100% investors: visible! important;height: auto;\">
parents confess that the most troublesome and disgusted thing in daily life is the child who comes with a lie.
"I have a bad headache. Can I not go to school today?"
pan>
"the exercise book fell into the school and can't be written tonight. "
often make parents furious, pick up their children and scold them either.
the reasons given by the parents also seem reasonable:
" how can you lie if you are lazy and have poor grades? It's a matter of moral character, and it's a mistake that adds to it! "
when the child comes back from school, the parents ask harshly, "how much did you get in math?" Let me have a look at the test paper "
looking at the parents' aggressive look, the child shrank his head and casually said, "the teacher didn't send it."
mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/meksZZXgV0RXPWy1oagJlTC0uibdGPXSCDf7oALVBIu7TODvt40AKuy0hQ6aBaicQVYkBBnoicVeiaECffK0VkQIXA/640?wx_fmt=png\" data-type=\ "png\" data-w=\ "style=\" width: 100% decision makers: visible! important;height: auto;\ ">
but the test paper is in the schoolbag.
it turns out that the math teacher has called and said that the child failed the exam.
parents are just asking questions, unexpectedly, their son will not only get poor grades but also lie.
an anger is ignited thoroughly.
Dad yelled and forced the child to take out the test paper: "Why, now you learn to lie?"
parents confess that the most troublesome and disgusted thing in daily life is the child who comes with a lie.
"I have a bad headache. Can I not go to school today?"
pan>
"the exercise book fell into the school and can't be written tonight. "
"I have a bad headache. Can I not go to school today?"
pan>
"the exercise book fell into the school and can't be written tonight. "
often make parents furious, pick up their children and scold them either.
the reasons given by the parents also seem reasonable:
" how can you lie if you are lazy and have poor grades? It's a matter of moral character, and it's a mistake that adds to it! "
when the child comes back from school, the parents ask harshly, "how much did you get in math?" Let me have a look at the test paper "
looking at the parents' aggressive look, the child shrank his head and casually said, "the teacher didn't send it."
mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/meksZZXgV0RXPWy1oagJlTC0uibdGPXSCDf7oALVBIu7TODvt40AKuy0hQ6aBaicQVYkBBnoicVeiaECffK0VkQIXA/640?wx_fmt=png\" data-type=\ "png\" data-w=\ "style=\" width: 100% decision makers: visible! important;height: auto;\ ">
but the test paper is in the schoolbag.
but the test paper is in the schoolbag.
it turns out that the math teacher has called and said that the child failed the exam.
parents are just asking questions, unexpectedly, their son will not only get poor grades but also lie.
an anger is ignited thoroughly.
Dad yelled and forced the child to take out the test paper: "Why, now you learn to lie?"
all of a sudden, the family flies and dogs jump.
however, what the father didn't expect was that what he hated was just an instinct that all children would accompany.
University of Toronto study found an astonishing figure:
about 50% of 3-year-olds lie.
4-year-olds, as many as 90% of them lie.
about 12 years old, almost every child has lied.
is it a good thing for the kid to lie?
of course not.
after 9 years old, children learn to make up some "black lies" for themselves. In the long run, children will have an integrity crisis.
but parents excessively blame and scold, but it is not a good way to solve the problem.
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Children love to lie, it's not a question of morality, but a matter of family mentality.
American child psychologist Ginot once said:" lying is a refuge sought by children for fear of being scolded for telling the truth. "
the more parents press and haggle, the more children like to use lies to avoid some punishment.
recently, a 7-year-old girl in Foshan was caught by the police for stealing toys, which attracted millions of people.
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tell a lie, don't blush, and still confront your mother in the store.
come and go, the mother got angry, she called 110and asked the police to discipline her daughter.
Why can a seven-year-old lie so stubbornly?
netizens' reply stamp shows the truth:
" A mother who is ruthless enough to expose her daughter's' scandal'in front of the country, her daughter dares to tell the truth. "
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" A mother who is ruthless enough to expose her daughter's' scandal'in front of the country, her daughter dares to tell the truth. "
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as an adolescent boy, mistakes are inevitable, but he often doesn't know where he is wrong.
parents asked him, "do you know if you're wrong?"
several times, he truthfully replied, "I don't know."
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though, he knows nothing inside.
but once Pandora's box is opened, one lie is often rounded with another lie, and no one knows if the child's next sentence is true.
psychological research shows that overly harsh education can not only prevent children from making up lies, but also stimulate their lying behavior.
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behind every "good liar" child, there are mostly strict parents who cover the sky with one hand.
once, Jia Jingwen is teaching her two daughters to sing. Maybe she was mischievous and asked for attention, and the eldest daughter, Juan, suddenly got up and pushed her sister next to her to the ground.
when everyone was surprised, my mother immediately asked her, "Why did you push down your sister?"
looking at the puzzled look on her mother's face, she chose to lie: "I want to hold her."
ordinary parents would be more angry to expose their child's lies, harshly pointing out: you don't want to hug her, you just want to push her down.
but Jia Jingwen didn't blame her. Instead, she followed the child's "lie" and made a mistake: "how do you hug your sister again?"
I have to say, Jia Jingwen's method is really clever.
the two daughters fall into their mother's arms and have a loving hug, and the relationship is relieved.
eldest daughter Huan Huan hasn't told a similar lie since then.
smart parents, pay attention not only to lying itself, but to the motivation behind their children's lies.
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it is the best policy to guide your child's emotions in time.
once, the child pan>
Zhang Yu's heart is like a mirror, but she doesn't expose the child face to face.
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with the beginning of the conversation, he chatted with his child:" Dad is 50 years old. I haven't seen anything. "
seems to chat, but it is actually implying that the child should not lie.
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parents have many different choices to lie to their children, among which it is the most unwise to expose them face to face.
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applause and untie the child, pan>
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Dear parents, if your child accidentally tells a lie next time, don't be in a hurry to expose it, don't be in a hurry to scold.
Please squat down and look at her and say: